saying i'm happy when i'm not

I feel so sad lately. I don't have a good reason to -- there's enough going right that I should be pretty happy. My life seems like a puzzle. The edge pieces are in place: family is wonderful, work is good, money is great. Alas, so many of the pieces in the middle are missing.

I'm trying to stay in touch with the area, but a few people are doing their best to make it difficult. Friends back in the area miss me, but not enough to call. My new co-workers are great, but they don't know me very well and I'm scared that once they do, they'll be less great. I have a home I'm embarrassed to come home to. My roommates are just ridiculous. #1 lost her job last week over the dumbest "should have known better" thing, #2 is inexcusably lazy, #3 has a full-blown crush on me (it's a longer story that I'm going to bother articulating, but it's definitely nowhere remotely near as bad as the last time it happened. Although you'd think I'd have learned better from past experiences.)

And I feel like at the rate I'm going, I'm never going to have a girlfriend again. I'm closing in on 3 1/2 years this month since my last relationship ended. Me and her are still friends, but regrettably it's been with benefits for far too long. That immediately complicates things should I actually meet a girl. But the only girls I ever meet are co-workers, friends of co-workers, etc. and it's territory I'm apprehensive about entering. Another small problem: I don't have what people often refer to as "game." I'm pretty much the anti-game. I always feel bewildered when any attractive woman makes eye contact, smiles at and/or chooses to talk to me, and I feel like that always shows through. Maybe that's what I get for befriending a bunch of Disney geeks.

I hate that I feel really alone right now, and I don't know how to fix it.